Never Shag A Woman At Work

Sometimes I look back with regret on the way my personal life has turned out – alone at sixty. Then I think of my friend Chris Tame and his two failed marriages, or the guy downstairs and his two crazy girlfriends – one on whom I called the police on Valentine’s Day thinking he was being murdered. Then I don’t feel so bad. For the past thirty years when I have worked I have done so for the most part alone; when I was younger I did not work exclusively in all male environments, but I had little opportunity to fraternise with women by and large, that is women to whom I was attracted. I don’t regret that either.

Working with women gives a man the opportunity to mix business with pleasure. That sounds nice, but it can be disastrous. Look at Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky. Now that was really sordid, and frankly the cunt brought it on himself, but others have landed in trouble with a capital T, like Staff Sergeant Eddy Soto of the United States Army. Fortunately, his absurd rape conviction was overturned on appeal, but a woman doesn’t have to accuse you of rape to trash your job, your career, your life...

Last month, the Guardian ran a story headlined: Half of women in UK have been sexually harassed at work, study finds

Sure: “Polling of 1,553 women found 52% experienced unwanted behaviour at work including groping, sexual advances and inappropriate jokes” – what does that even mean, inappropriate jokes?

As we’ve seen in some high profile cases, including that of Ellen Pao, sexual harassment and discrimination can mean almost anything. Even though Pao lost her lawsuit against her former employer Kleiner Perkins and was as good as kicked out of Reddit, she is still being lauded by media braindeads as some kind of heroine instead of a toxic bitch.

Any man who has any sort of romantic entanglement with a woman at work is risking everything for what – a shag? Okay, there are exceptions, Robin Cook met his second wife at work, and married her. He had no regrets about that, although his first wife may well have, but when the shine wears off, what are we left with? Charges of sexual harassment or worse. Okay, so the girl is cultured, sweet natured and stunningly attractive, so was Karla Homolka. Don’t go there guys, don’t even think of going there, find your love interests in the club, on the dance floor, even on a dating site, but never shag a woman at work.