Has E. Jean Carroll Stolen Donald Trump’s DNA?

Last year, this demented hag claimed to have been raped by Donald Trump back in the 1990s, in the fall of 1995 or the spring of 1996, that was as specific as she could be regarding the time of this phantom rape, but she was very specific about where it happened: the lingerie department of a Bergdorf Goodman store in New York.

Her interview with an initially sympathetic Anderson Cooper soon turned to farce when she alluded to rape as “sexy” - that’s what most women think about it, we were told. Cooper was clearly embarrassed, but not as embarrassed as all but the most die-hard of true believers when they learned Carroll had plagiarised this claim from a 2012 American crime drama.

One would have expected that to be the end of the matter, but after Trump denied the allegation publicly, Carroll sued him for defamation. It doesn’t take too much nous to detect the hand of Gloria Allred here; if that pernicious shyster didn’t put Carroll up to it, then she probably inspired the move. Now, Carroll claims Trump’s DNA is on her dress, which she preserved, echoing the sordid “affair” with Monica Lewinsky and her Bill Clinton “memento”. This begs the question, could Trump’s DNA actually be on that dress, and the answer is yes.

This could be a plot by the Deep State, or more realistically, Carroll could have some sort of connection with someone close to Trump. If she came up with this scheme in the wake of his election, she would have had two and a half years to put it into action. That being said, Trump was already a billionaire in the 1990s, which means he almost certainly never went anywhere without a bodyguard, and his movements would have been fairly closely minuted by those around him. He has nothing to worry about, whatever the judge decides.