The Odious Chelsea Hoffman

The first time I happened across Chelsea Hoffman was in connection with convicted murderess Linda Carty. At the time, that arch-liar and champion of lost causes Clive Stafford Smith was peddling all manner of lies to the UK media on Carty’s behalf, lies that were by and large being lapped up. With the notable exception of the New York Times Supreme Court correspondent, the US media hasn’t given this old witch the time of day. Hoffman penned a notable line about Carty’s execution – which unfortunately has still not taken place: “The world will not miss this woman.”

I was so impressed by that phrase that I wrote a poem based on it. As things turned out, that was the only thing about Chelsea Hoffman that has ever impressed me.

After I signed up with AllVoices I exchanged some banter with her over something, I can’t remember what, but it may have been over the Madeleine McCann case, which is likely now to remain ever unsolved and thus controversial. Like a lot of know-alls who know fuck all, Miss Hoffman believes she has the solution to this murder – as it almost certainly was: the parents did it, and she is not shy with her innuendos.

Self-styled criminal profiler Chelsea seems to think this is a startlingly original hypothesis; criminal profiling is garbage, but if she knew anything at all about how the police really work she would have realised that parents, family and friends are always suspects in any murder or missing person case, however peripherally.

At any rate, I made a point or two to Miss Hoffman at some point, to which she took objection, and next thing threatened – if that is the right word – to report me to the AllVoices abuse team, or whatever, boasting that she was a supermoderator. Wow. I was impressed not. When I responded with a single sentence, I received the following message:

June 29, 2014

Re: Madeleine McCann

To ALEXANDER BARON

This issue has been forwarded to Daniel Roth/AllVoices.

Wow again! Shortly I received a message from Danny Roth asking me politely to refrain from contacting her. AllVoices was a bitter disappointment for me for reasons I have explained elsewhere, and after the site revamp I did not try too hard for readmission. I suspect Miss Hoffman did though, but clearly her pleas fell on deaf ears, very likely because of those who had been lobbying to remove her.

Her last message reminded me of the old saying that all bullies are cowards; this is not necessarily true but I couldn’t help but note that it was and is in her case. This is something I’ve noticed in the real world with (especially) women who are even more odious than Chelsea Hoffman. People who have big mouths should also have thick skins. Miss Hoffman is still peddling her wares elsewhere – including her phony academic qualifications – but with American universities continuing to offer degrees in such garbage as gender studies, they are probably no more worthless than many real ones.

Not everyone you meet on-line is as nasty as they sound; the political blogger Claire Khaw doesn’t understand the meaning of the word tact, a quality for which I have found little use myself, including in the real world. Khaw on the other hand means well, and I think most people realise I do, but Chelsea Hoffman is just plain nasty. And spineless with it.